A Crazy Dating Game
by CreativelyCrazy
Summary: Someone that everyone wants to kill has organized a Hogwarts Dating Game TV Show, and has forced everyone to participate or watch. It is broadcast on the WWN without Hogwarts knowing. Who is the mystery organizer? When will the madness end? Read. Find out
1. Epilogue

**A Crazy Dating Game **

**By CreativelyCrazy**

**Summary: **Someone that everyone wants to kill has organized a Hogwarts Dating Game TV Show, and has forced everyone to participate. If they are not, they are removed from the school for the duration of the show. It is broadcast on the WWN and almost everyone is hooked. Who is the mystery organizer? When will the madness end?

**Chapter 1: Epilogue **

So here we are, at the end.

Mostly there were happy endings.

Ok, so there were some sad results.

But the best of all were the unexpectedly insane ones.

Yes, I hear you. Who are you? What in a flying cow's name are you talking about?

Who am I? You should know. If not, maybe…no.

What in a flying cow's name am I talking about? The Hogwarts Dating Game, of course. By the way, what does a flying cow have to do with this?

What is the Hogwarts Dating Game? Oh, my. You don't know? This chapter is called the Epilogue for a reason, you know.

So THAT's why you don't know who I am.

Well, if you really must know, we'll just have to start at the beginning.

Ah, how I love telling stories. Putting emotion in to your voice, bringing characters to life…watching the shock horror on people's faces when I say how Stickboy turns into a Popsicle in Titanic… "Rose…promise…."…oops.

Oh well. How I digress. Let us begin.

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**A/N: **The epilogue…at the BEGINNING!?!? Bwahahaha…all part of my incredibly evil ruse. You'll see. Review?


	2. Prologue

**A Crazy Dating Game **

**By CreativelyCrazy**

**Summary: **Someone that everyone wants to kill has organized a Hogwarts Dating Game TV Show, and has forced everyone to participate. If they are not, they are removed from the school for the duration of the show. It is broadcast on the WWN and almost everyone is hooked. Who is the mystery organizer? When will the madness end?

**Disclaimer: **-comes out in a frizzy blonde wig-Hey everyone! I'm JK Rowling! –wig falls off- Ok, forget it.

**A/N:** Bwahaha. This fic is going to be so cool…? I'm really excited about it so far.

**Chapter 2**: Prologue 

At first, there was nothing…

…but then there was ME!

Just kidding.

But the idea came that way. Sprang, full out, from my head, just like Zeus and Athena.

I decided I wanted to start a wizard version of the Dating Game, a Muggle television show.

And broadcast it on the WWN.

And set it at Hogwarts.

Of course, I needed some inside help. Dumbledore was only too happy to help. Well, no, he wasn't. Of course, the prefects/Head Girl/Head Boy whined and kicked and screamed like little toddlers, and the Heads of House didn't mind (except Snape, but he always minded about things like this), so what else could he say? I made them all swear that they wouldn't say a word to anyone about this. But surely you know what Dumbledore always says about secrets.

"Naturally, the whole school knows."

They were getting excited.

I had to work fast.

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**A/N: **I'm sorry my chapters are so short, but it seems to work this way. It might not make much sense right now, but it will soon enough. Reeeviiieeew?


	3. The Planning Stages

**A Crazy Dating Game**

**By CreativelyCrazy**

**Summary: **Someone that everyone wants to kill has organized a Hogwarts Dating Game TV Show, and has forced everyone to participate. If they are not, they are removed from the school for the duration of the show. It is broadcast on the WWN and almost everyone is hooked. Who is the mystery organizer? When will the madness end?

**Disclaimer: **-comes out in a frizzy blonde wig-Hey everyone! I'm JK Rowling! –wig falls off- Ok, forget it.

**A/N:** Bwahaha. This fic is going to be so cool…? I'm really excited about it so far.

This chapter is dedicated to Anya, the writer of the NQM at daisygrrl dot com slash quidditch. It is one of the funniest fics ever and I have some minor references to it in this chapter.

Wow. 2 chapterlets, one review? I feel so unloved! –bursts into a very Cho-like fit of sobbing-

Katie: Thanks so much for reviewing. Hehe. I am making it so cliffie-ish. Oh well. It may suck that way, but it works.

**Chapter 3: The Planning Stages**

The signs finally came up. One in each common room. For Fourth Years and older.

At first, no one was courageous to come and sign up. Bless the brave souls who did while the field was clear, while people were watching and waiting, contemplating whether it would be a good experience or an embarrassing one.

Eventually, about 100 names had popped up on each list, adding up to 400-and-just- a-little-plus names.

Sometimes I wonder if they wrote those names of their own accord. Ha ha.

Oh well. –cough- Best not to dwell on those thoughts.

The Sorting Hat, Professor Dumbledore, the Heads of House, and I arranged the names thusly:

100 Bachelor/Bachelorettes

100 Eligible Bachelor/Bachelorettes #1

100 Eligible Bachelor/Bachelorettes #2

100 Eligible Bachelor/Bachelorettes #3

The surplus were used as stage hands.

From there, we separated that out so there would be one Bachelor/Bachelorette, and three Eligible Bachelor/Bachelorettes in each group. We arranged it so there would be one "True Love," one "No. Way. In. Hell. Would I Date Him/Her," and one "Well, He/She's Pretty Nice, We Could Date for a Bit, I Guess." Some groups didn't have the "True Love," and some didn't have the "I Wouldn't Date Him/Her in Hell," so we would look at the stage hands to see if there would be a match. If not, we just had to grin and bear it. To "spice it up a bit," in Professor Dumbledore's words, the eligible bachelors could be either gender. insert maniacal laughter here

There is a drumroll. Dumbledore begins his speech.

"Welcome to our First Hopefully Annual Hogwarts Dating Game Show! I am honored to witness this first episode, in which we will be entertained by one very special bachelor and his three bachelorettes, vying for a date with him. All the proceeds from your tickets to this very special event are going to the St. Mungo's Victims Unit Fund. We have successfully given over one hundred thousand Galleons to this special charity, and we hope to give even more. Now, I will hand it over to our host."

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

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**A/N: **Ehehe. This isn't being that funny, but once the episodes begin, they will be. I PROMISE! Thanks to my beta (and cousin), PsychoticButterfly. You are the greatest and the ebilness. Review? Pleasie?


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